Green is For the Little People...

I meant to write about this a week or so ago, but didn't get around to it.

It's a story about one of them Silicon Valley douchebags who has more money than common sense. Money he probably got for providing the Obama Administration with my e-mails and phone records, and from selling shares of online companies that aren't worth the paper they're printed on.

Anyways, it seems that this doofus, who is what one might consider one of those extreme environMENTALists, did something which, quite frankly, is not all that shocking, but is indicative of the real thought processes behind most people who push a Green Agenda.

See, this asshole spent a few million bucks to have a section of Redwood Forest bulldozed, just so that he could have the Dungeons&Dragons-themed wedding the nerdy little fuck probably always wanted.

EnvironMENTALism isn't about saving Mother Gaia: it's about a bunch of self-selected elites getting to rape the planet in the name of saving it at everyone else's expense, and about telling others how they should live. In this guy's world, it's probably quite okay to destroy a two-thousand year old redwood to erect a mock up of Tintagel so you can play Knights of the Round Table on your wedding day, so long as you gave to the Audubon Society, Greenpeace, and the Obama campaign. What counts is your intent, not your actions.

The Catholic Church used to operate this way. They called it an indulgence, in which a rich man's money bought him forgiveness for his mortal sins.

The funny part about the modern version, is that the very people who behave like this probably consider the Catholic Church to be the most corrupt organization that ever existed.

Japan Needs Another Nuking, Methinks...

Apparently, two were not enough.

Now, I don't mean to pick on the Japanese. I have spent a great deal of time with many Japanese people (I once worked for two Japanese companies) and have found the majority to be regular Joes and Janes, and only a few would be what one could charitably call "eccentric" on one end of the scale, and "full-blown, wild-hair-up-their-asses insane" at the other extreme.

And let's face it; you have to admire a country that has soldiered on successfully in the wake of multiple earthquakes, tsunamis, utter defeat in war, and Lord only knows how many visits from Godzilla and Gamera.

Between the B-29's, Pacific Plate, atomic radiation-produced freaks of nature and at least one visit from the Top Gear guys, Tokyo has probably suffered more and worse disasters than the Carter and Obama Administrations, combined.

However, in recent years, it seems the Japanese have collectively gone batshit insane.when it comes to the subject of sex. And one need no more proof of this than a quick thought about the newest sexual fetish to strike the Land of the Rising Sun.

Eyeball licking.

"Help" Syrian Rebels? Why?

RE: The announcement by the Obama Administration that it will give "aid" to the Syrian rebels currently fighting the regime of Dictator-for-Life Bashir Al-Assad.

I seem to recall an old saying that goes something like this:

When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt him.

Mr. Orwell, Please Pick Up The White Courtesy Phone...

The handsome devil to the left is one Eric Arthur Blair, better known to the world as George Orwell.

Mr. Orwell was the author of some of the greatest anti-authoritarian novels of all time. Books like 1984 and Animal Farm will stand the test of time as classics, and he was also an accomplished essayist, book reviewer, and journalist. Orwell, despite the fact that he was a Socialist, is one of my heroes.

As if that were a secret? I only bust out an Orwell reference about every thirty seconds, sometimes.

He’s a hero to me because, unlike most writers of his day -- a good many of whom are given the honorific of ‘great’ for little to no reason beyond that they appeal to pansy academics -- he dared to speak the truth, plainly and as he saw it.  He did not apologize for his political positions, but did do his best to convince you of their veracity and utility with a command of the language that has been matched by very few. Compared to Orwell, in terms of the use of the English language, Shakespeare was a drooling idiot.

Well, What Did You Think Would Happen?

Liberals' issue with the Patriot Act and the other extraordinary police powers given to the Executive Branch in the direct aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks was NEVER about Civil Liberties, Freedom, or the even the Constitutionality of it all. Despite the lip service they paid to such concepts back when.

It was always that those powers were going to be given to the likes of a Bible-thumping, anti-abortionist, right wing, gay-hating, dumb-as-dogsqueeze George W. Bush, and his would-be Reichsfuhrer, John Ashcroft, first.

Oh, I imagine that this whole regime of Orwellian surveillance could be worse:

The American People could have been really stupid and elected Hillary Clinton. Can you imagine what She and Bill would have done with this sort of power?

Of Bicycles and Horny Moose...

Two totally unrelated stories that I will quickly...ummm...relate...for you by the time this is finished.

Really, I promise!

The first story has to do with the rank stupidity of government here in New Yorkistan. Our Reichsfuhrer...err, Mayor, Michael Bloomdouche...errm...Bloomberg is known to be a freak when it comes to bicycles. In fact, Mayor Mind-Everyone's-Business is a freak, period, but that is beside the point.

Douchebag of the Week: Senator John McCain...

I wish someone would finally (metaphorically) put a stake through the heart of John McCain before next sunrise. 

His continued ability to leave his coffin every evening, suck some more blood from the body politic and return unscathed to strike again the following night is beginning to remind me of Count Dracula.

Actually, McCain often reminds me of Count Chocula -- a goofy, cartoonish, two-dimensional character on a cereal box -- only with power and an over-developed sense of self-importance. It’s time to knock him down a few pegs until he’s little more than the Count from Sesame Street.

Welcome to Zimbabwe, America...

Upon seeing this Mussolini-like pose, struck by a man, who much like it's originator, is also a shallow and hollow human being with few redeeming qualities, I find myself curiously in mind of an age old adage that goes something like this:

One bad apple does not spoil the whole bushel.

I do not know the origin of this phrase, and quite frankly it isn't all that important. However, it is necessary to view the events of the last five years through the prism of this quaint expression, for it is our curse to live in a day and age in which bad apples have become the norm and are hardly the exception.

When one looks at the metaphorical apples and bushels which represent the sum total of America's Obama Experience, it becomes apparent that old saw should be taken out of the lexicon, for it is now becoming a universal truism that today's seeming wisdom will, eventually, become tomorrow's stinking load of bullshit.

Lunatic: 1, Bureaucracy: 0

Oh, happy day! It has finally happened! I have finally been able to prove to the knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing,  unionized high school dropouts at the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles that I, your humble correspondent, do exist!

I have just received my brand, spankin' new New York State Photo identification card. The one I've been seeking like it was the Holy Fuckin' Grail for five years now. If you're not familiar with my trials and tribulations on this subject, you can read about them here and here.

I'll wait until you're up to speed....

Of Bombers, Rapists, and Immigration Reform...

By now, everyone knows these photographs; they are of the (alleged) Boston Marathon Bombers,  Chechen immigrants who came to America and somehow found it necessary, for reasons yet to be discerned, to plant shrapnel bombs that killed three and wounded another 180.

They then, as you  know by now, led police on a four-day chase that ended with a cop shot dead, another severely wounded, a city locked down, and a massive house-to-house manhunt complete with gun battles and more explosions than a Bugs Bunny cartoon that could have killed and maimed many more.